Never Forget the Music

Hey, this is a totally new style, and my longest ever.

Never Forget the Music

My world has come to a standstill,
I don't know where to go.
Everything moves according to a constant drill,
I am tired of submitting to the flow.

Everything that I always do makes me feel bored,
In everything I have never done, I've lost the hope.
Frustrating to not know what the future holds,
There's emptiness behind every closed door.

Everything that I've worked for slips right out of my hands.
Wondering about whether it is another wild goose chase.
Standing in a desert and seeing nothing but endless sands.
Having no confidence, because everything always fails.

The fast paced world chucks you out,
The moment you falter or step away from the crowd,
As if it can't even forgive a moment of doubt.
And once you were fooling around like everything counts.

And asking yourself, when did I grow so cynical?
"The moment I learnt to hide my anguish with a laugh.
When I grasped how to make fun of my heart."
And hearing that answer shatters your foundation.

I tried to fly, but I couldn't escape the shackles...
But I see it darkness closing onto me,
It engulfs me and I can't do anything,
This is all until when I notice...

A broken chandelier beams through the crack,
And I thought I checked all the doors and maps.
Oh yes, I can see it now, it is right in front of me,
Can you feel it too? The dewdrops reflects the light for me to see.

All the walls and the chains turn to ashes,
Because of my confusion, the vision is still a bit hazy,
I see the future in flashes.
It isn't just my imagination, it will stay.

The rains pouring over my face, I exhale a sigh,The puddles, the dampness, the chill, I'll never curse it now.
The smell, the sound, the high, I'll never lose it now.
Oh yeah, you should see it, it's a beautiful view.

Making decisions, yeah, I'm trying to do that!
Facing the stuff, yeah, I am up for the challenge!
I'll try my best to fight, until and unless it comes out right,
'cause I know that I can walk up the distance.

If you hate the silence that haunts the street,
Why don't you sing your own music?
If you're afraid it isn't perfect, know that it'll never be,
But it won't let you slow down that easily.

Oh yeah, never give up, move faster than the world.
Build your pace, and don't let your dreams get away.
And next time your world comes to a standstill,
Don't forget the music.

Never forget singing, never forget the music.

- Tensai-Teki Kuroneko

I have a recording of me singing this with imagined background music, so that the sound never gets lost. Anyways, the sudden mood change was because of listening to my one and only idol, YUI. Pic from Pixabay, so is a public domain image.

Even If You Came Back Today

This is a song, please feel free to contact and make a collaboration or something, because I think it would sound great!

Even If You Came Back Today

I don't want to bring out the past again,
But everything comes out at the very worst of times.
I don't want to spill out everything that's on my mind,
But I really need to say, baby, I remembered you today.
I was in the replay, baby and I didn't want you to stay.

But it didn't go like I thought it would,
I am not curled up on my bed again.
I wouldn't say I didn't miss you,
But the hope has faded away.
'cause I don't think it would ever be the same,
Even if you came back today.

I don't want to know how it'd go if things were different,
But it pains me to know how it all went.
It was the first time I had felt like that...
But things were not getting better, I remember that letter.
And how that tore me up like crumbled paper.

But I don't feel like I think I should,
I don't find you to be needed anymore.
It rained on the tulip everyday,
And now it has withered away,
'cause even if everything was alright,
It would stay ephemeral and wilt every night.

I do know now that everything's fine,
Even I have some people that I can claim mine.
And they haven't left me so far to fend for myself.
I had found you surreal, and it had felt so real,
But it wasn't long flight and I didn't even reach the stratosphere.

And even if you ever miss me this way,
And even if you want it to return to the same way,
I won't stay, cause I'm not okay.
'cause I am sure it would never be okay,
Even if you came back today.

- Tensai-Teki Kuroneko

All You Want...

All You Want...

Hearts break, tears spill and no one gets to know.
And you remember how you wanted happiness before.
Nothing seems straight, you curse your fate;
Conflicting feelings arise, and you are blinded by your sight.
All you wanted back then was space to sock-slide.
All you want now is less pain to hide.

You remember when the granny next door
Told you when you were ten and four,
To stay true, you have to suffer through.
How you laughed and told her that if it were true,
Gentle folks would not exist, but they do?
You get it now, don't you?
All you wanted back then was an ice cream cone,
All you want now is to not feel alone.

You scorn the fairy tales you once loved,
Who failed to warn you to be tough.
They seem to mock and laugh if you're afraid,
Even when they broke your faith in the first place.
All you wanted back then was the gingerbread hut,
All you want now is to remove this terrible feeling in your gut.

You want to feel the cold drops of rain on your face,
And shed the tears without a trace.
You want to feel the wind on your back,
So you don't hear people say what you lack.
All you wanted back then was another person to impress,
All you want now is one person less who disapproves.

You want to take a shower with the garden hose,
Not another love with the lifespan of a rose.
You want to sit and play with the mud,
For what you are you don't wish to be judged.
You want to cry your heart out and want no one to listen.
You know that if they claim to know all about you, they are mistaken.
All you wanted back then was to know what happens at midnight.
All you want now is someone to say that it's alright.

All you wanted back then was to hug your mom,
Do you even think about how lucky you are to have her now?
She told you she needed you so you always held her hand,
Now you laugh at how silly you were back then.
But, all you wanted back then was to hide your little misdeed,
And all you want now is to be told you are needed.

- Tensai-Teki Kuroneko

Not Anymore

Not Anymore

There is a limit to what I can endure,
I have cried and shouted till my throat got sore.
But no, no, not anymore.
I snatch the keys to the door
That had been locked for so long.
No, no, I won't stay anymore.
I'll escape from here by my own force.
I'll do everything on my own for sure.
I was trapped, but no, no, not anymore.

I light a match and burn everything down,
Every picture I used to treasure.
Leave my life, now!
I throw every reminder out of the window,
Scratch every record I sang.
I am better off alone.
I cry to myself sitting on the ground,
You are just a sad memory.
I loved you, but not anymore.

Everything about you now I despise.
I listen to every word you ever said and say;
Lies, lies, lies!
I wasn't able to see through that disguise.
Everything was perfect, just yesterday.
Look at how time flies!
It isn't long till the time the last tear dries,
Soon, I'll be on my way.
Witness how love dies!

Everything engraved on the black page.
All of it shall end.
Everything is now nothing but a burnt image,
The disappearing ink of a pen.
Every feeling that I had shall now fade,
I shall mend myself.
Every feeling that was carved by that blade,
No longer shall it frighten.

The sun has set for a reason.
It's time to seek the next lesson.
A new journey is about to begin.
Time has come for me to leave,
It's sad that I know that you won't miss me.
I told you I'll go, see?
Now I am sailing off the gloomy shore,
All alone, because I need you no more.
No, not anymore.

- Tensai-Teki Kuroneko

Succubus

Dark moods.

Succubus

When the grandfather's clock finally struck twelve,
At the door there was a startling echo of the bell.
Seeing the half empty place, the ends of her blood red lips curved;
And towards her dark shadow, everyone's eyes turned.
An eerie silence fell across in the room,
Announcing her arrival, a ghostly breeze blew.

She chose an empty corner to seat herself,
And ordered Apple Martini when the waitress came.
Crossing her legs, she silently teased everyone else,
And observed the hall, ever so slightly fazed.
The dim-lit bar and the intoxicating smell made her impatient,
But years of practice had calmed her down.
She composed herself and waited for someone to make a mistake,
And pretended as though she meant no harm.

She wore a seductive shade of Mardi Gras,
With jet black heels and sinful mascara.
Her hair was black, and she had violet eyes,
With an innocent face, she covered all her lies.
She had long nails, covered with black paint,
She was certainly a devilish femme fatale.

An affluent guy with bright hazel eyes,
Assessed her without attempting to hide.
She looked at him but didn't acknowledge;
He looked at her and not a word he said.
He was getting caught and he didn't know it still,
But she knew that she had trapped him.

He walked towards her, she smirked at the sight;
She was going to have a pretty good time tonight.
He sat beside her, forgetting all the world;
She looked in his eyes, deep into his soul.
He had sinned, killed his own mother,
And there wasn't a moment he had forgiven himself.
She held his chin in her ice cold hand,
He shivered, but still didn't understand.
She artfully held him closer to to her lips,
And there she had him enchanted with a single kiss.

She rose and took him to seclusion in a back room,
And following her was the best he could do.
He laid on a couch, and she held his collar,
Looked in those hazel orbs, she said to him;
"I have been waiting for you, every night till next dusk,
The one you have chosen is none other than a succubus."

Alas! The young man was surely bewitched,
Because not an eyebrow he flinched.
He could not foresee his own downfall,
He did not notice the abyss he had stepped into by fault.
"The days are over, now relax like everyone does
When I finish my work, the work of a succubus."

The next day, no one knew of the young lad,
He disappeared into oblivion like the dream he always had.
But a day later, she came once again,
At midnight, in search of another prey.
In a short dress, with really pale hands,
She held the Martini she always drank.

- Tensai-Teki Kuroneko

Again

The poem would tell you what I am going through...

Again

Despite what everyone seemed to tell,
My heart is not the one I can teach.
Love seems to be a magic spell;
Under which you are what I seek.
Now, I find myself falling for your smile,
I am captivated by the same charm, twice;
Will I go through the same emotions this time?
I wonder as I again roll the dice.

I am trapped in an open cage,
Still I can't break out of the daze.
I notice that there are several ways to escape,
But even a simple step seems to be a maze.
You have come across with your innocence,
Even though I really don't want all that pain.
Because I am completely losing my sense.
And now I am falling for you, again.

My love has forever been a twinkling flame,
Amidst the darkness, it flickers as it burns,
And when I felt it would blow away,
You held it closely, so again it glowed.
But I don't feel the same excitement now,
And I don't dream of you till dawn.
Maybe because I have learnt my lesson,
But I still love you beyond reason.

Even if different, I assure you that it's genuine,
Please understand that I am just keeping my distance.
It is because I don't want to bring you trouble,
I don't want to destroy your peaceful bubble.
I just want to be wanted and needed,
I just want to tell you about everything I have felt.
But, you have never returned the warmth I showered,
You have never allowed romance between us to flower.

I won't approach you this time and I won't try to show any sign.
You unknowingly shoved me into a pit of thorns,
But I won't mind because you never wanted to scorn.
Please don't test my passion, just for your satisfaction.
Please, I won't be able to tolerate that look of disdain.
Now that I am falling for you again.

- Tensai-Teki Kuroneko

Gone

A cat strayed into my backyard five months ago. She gave birth to four kittens and disappeared. We brought up the kittens... and I grew very attached to them. One of them(Snowy) ran after another stray cat and went away, around three months ago. Last night, Wiwi/Tesla died. This is a poem expressing my grief.

Coincidentally, my grandmother died at the same time on the same date two years ago.

~ 17th September, 2012 ~
Rest in Peace, Wiwi.

Gone

Last night I was woken up with news of your demise,
And a cascade of tears flowed out of my eyes.
I never thought that the one who loved to jump,
Would someday struggle on every bump.
You were struggling so much during your last days,
I wish I could have done something to ease your pain.
Before I knew it, you were gone;
And a shroud for you was drawn.

I spent the night crying in my bed,
Blaming myself and drowning in regret.
My parents shouted at me to control myself,
Though they knew it was the first time I had experienced death.
Even now I start weeping when I remember your cute face,
And I fear the day when your memory will fade.
How your little teeth came out when you yawned...
Before I loved you, you were gone.

Brou and Stravy are searching for you,
Whenever I go out they ask about you.
Today, it is such a sad day,
Today, you left us and went away.
I wonder and pray, in your next birth,
May you spend every second in mirth.
May you be born as the prince of England,
And have everything at the flip of your hand.
Before I saw you grow up, you went sky beyond,
Out of my reach, you were forever gone.

Baby, I don't know why God chose you,
Maybe you were an angel and away you flew.
All I know is you won't be running in the backyard,
As of today, you won't chase after rats and birds.
Dear, please, where ever you end up,
Stay happy and live life with your head up.
I know it'll be hard to get over this grief,
But as they say, life is always going.
Now, I'll stop weeping because I know you would frown,
If I kept on crying after you are gone.

- Tensai-Teki Kuroneko