All You Want...

All You Want...

Hearts break, tears spill and no one gets to know.
And you remember how you wanted happiness before.
Nothing seems straight, you curse your fate;
Conflicting feelings arise, and you are blinded by your sight.
All you wanted back then was space to sock-slide.
All you want now is less pain to hide.

You remember when the granny next door
Told you when you were ten and four,
To stay true, you have to suffer through.
How you laughed and told her that if it were true,
Gentle folks would not exist, but they do?
You get it now, don't you?
All you wanted back then was an ice cream cone,
All you want now is to not feel alone.

You scorn the fairy tales you once loved,
Who failed to warn you to be tough.
They seem to mock and laugh if you're afraid,
Even when they broke your faith in the first place.
All you wanted back then was the gingerbread hut,
All you want now is to remove this terrible feeling in your gut.

You want to feel the cold drops of rain on your face,
And shed the tears without a trace.
You want to feel the wind on your back,
So you don't hear people say what you lack.
All you wanted back then was another person to impress,
All you want now is one person less who disapproves.

You want to take a shower with the garden hose,
Not another love with the lifespan of a rose.
You want to sit and play with the mud,
For what you are you don't wish to be judged.
You want to cry your heart out and want no one to listen.
You know that if they claim to know all about you, they are mistaken.
All you wanted back then was to know what happens at midnight.
All you want now is someone to say that it's alright.

All you wanted back then was to hug your mom,
Do you even think about how lucky you are to have her now?
She told you she needed you so you always held her hand,
Now you laugh at how silly you were back then.
But, all you wanted back then was to hide your little misdeed,
And all you want now is to be told you are needed.

- Tensai-Teki Kuroneko

Again

The poem would tell you what I am going through...

Again

Despite what everyone seemed to tell,
My heart is not the one I can teach.
Love seems to be a magic spell;
Under which you are what I seek.
Now, I find myself falling for your smile,
I am captivated by the same charm, twice;
Will I go through the same emotions this time?
I wonder as I again roll the dice.

I am trapped in an open cage,
Still I can't break out of the daze.
I notice that there are several ways to escape,
But even a simple step seems to be a maze.
You have come across with your innocence,
Even though I really don't want all that pain.
Because I am completely losing my sense.
And now I am falling for you, again.

My love has forever been a twinkling flame,
Amidst the darkness, it flickers as it burns,
And when I felt it would blow away,
You held it closely, so again it glowed.
But I don't feel the same excitement now,
And I don't dream of you till dawn.
Maybe because I have learnt my lesson,
But I still love you beyond reason.

Even if different, I assure you that it's genuine,
Please understand that I am just keeping my distance.
It is because I don't want to bring you trouble,
I don't want to destroy your peaceful bubble.
I just want to be wanted and needed,
I just want to tell you about everything I have felt.
But, you have never returned the warmth I showered,
You have never allowed romance between us to flower.

I won't approach you this time and I won't try to show any sign.
You unknowingly shoved me into a pit of thorns,
But I won't mind because you never wanted to scorn.
Please don't test my passion, just for your satisfaction.
Please, I won't be able to tolerate that look of disdain.
Now that I am falling for you again.

- Tensai-Teki Kuroneko

Konnichiwa

Hello people,

I am Anna. I am not exactly comfortable with exposing my offline identity, so I'll rather be called TTK, Tensai-Teki Kuroneko or Anna-chan. I will be posting my life-rants, as well as mindless babble on politics, my views, various matters, social problems and whatever I think about; here and on fictionpress.

I live in India, and that's the only information you'll need to know, I guess.

The things can go highly personal or extremely professional, since I love being all cool, natural and sometimes expressionless.

Its basically my life events that I'll portray, which are so random and unexpected, that I get quite frightened. Things happen to me at the worst and the best of times - it may be unbelievable at first, but that is how my life is. It is also the reason why I hate planning - nothing ever goes the way I plan it!

I am very childish. Sometimes I get too far with a mere prank, or sometimes I am so ridiculous that it'll make you guys laugh. Sometimes I get all gloomy and feel very depressed and mean, other times I am as cheerful as a daisy. I am extremely sensitive and when I regret doing something, I curse myself for hours, cry rivers for some more time, and throw away every ounce of self respect I have to make up for my mistake - even if it includes embarrassing public apologies which do hurt, a lot.

I am really anti-aromatic - the most unstable personality you'll ever meet. I have a really short temper, and it's easy to piss me off - especially when someone accuses innocent people, and curses a whole section of the society for doing what they want. I am against any form of discrimination prevailing in the society, be it gender, caste, religion, or anything else.

A very important point. I am agnostic. I don't believe in a specific religion or form of God. I believe that God exists, but I don't know anything else. I don't claim that all the texts are wrong or something, but I do believe they have been highly altered. I don't believe in any of them, and it's my personal choice. I don't want to argue about it.

I have got a HUGE interest in science, especially Physics! I am planning on devoting all my life to it, so please don't get irritated if I use TOO many stupid irrelevant scientific/mathematical puns sometimes when I write. I am quite fond of Japanese music, anime & manga, so references from there are also possible.

I am not anti-social. But, I am exceedingly shy. You can talk to me!

Thanks for reading,

Tensai-Teki Kuroneko